The Hewitt Times

Going to an all-girls school, the annual Victoria’s Secret fashion show has a significant impact on our lives. The day after its airing on CBS, it is always the topic of conversation in the stacks room. Girls become hesitant to go out to Eli’s for a sandwich in fear that they will not emulate Adriana Lima’s post-baby body. They discuss the depressed Facebook statuses and tweets that kept pouring into my feed throughout the night. I even received multiple photos of my friends with their faces photoshopped onto the models’ bodies.

After watching the show, many girls tell themselves that they are “never eating again.” This line renders the line in Le Bistro much shorter, for students might bring in a Greek yogurt for their meal rather than indulge in a hot dog. You would think that by now Ishmael and the rest of the team would have caught on to the students’ post-VS Fashion Show weight loss goals and opted to serve their Ambrosio al blackened talapia, but no.

Weight loss has sadly become the second most contagious topic among the Upper School student body, right after college applications, of course. We cannot escape it, even in the rear mezzanine, where you think you might be safe. When Victoria Zoha ’14 brought a flour-less chocolate cookie from Saint Ambroeus into the stacks room last week, girls attacked her asking, “Where did you get that?”, “Can I have a piece,” and “Oh my God! Did you Instagram that?” Whenever Julia Wolinsky ’14 makes her slutty brownies, girls leap out of their chairs (even the comfy ones) for a taste. But behind these jumpers, there are always the girls sitting in the back of the room proclaiming, “I’m way too fat to eat that,” at a volume so high you would think they were proud of their poor body images.

Hewitt girls are wild animals when it comes to food–basically savage beasts. When the famous Bistro cookies are served, all hell breaks loose. An experienced Bistro-er knows that enthusiasm only decreases one’s chance of fudgey goodness. Ish simply won’t serve you if you scream. Trust me, I would know. And for all you middle-schoolers out there, the old “changing your hairstyle so he won’t remember you” trick does not work anymore. The kitchen staff has caught on and will just laugh at you, so second servings are almost always unattainable. Sometimes you might get one just for effort, but that is very rare–do not try this, says Rome.

Despite Hewitt girls’ immediate, paranoid reaction to the show, our diets will probably last a maximum of one week before we realize that break just isn’t the same without Goldfish. (Remember the hidden cookies in the Goldfish boxes?! If you do, your diet is most likely doomed to end no later than tomorrow at 9:45 am.)

Unfortunately, this self-image problem extends far beyond the Hewitt halls runways halls. Perhaps this one, tiny (a double entendre) show is not necessarily the root of the problem, but rather an annual slap in the face to the average teenage girl. The media–The Hewitt Times hopefully excluded–is at fault for this worldwide catastrophe, for journalists and broadcasters everywhere constantly impose unrealistic expectations upon us. It is important that we, especially as girls in an all-girls school, learn to be the best we can be, relative to ourselves and nobody else.

If you believe you can suppress the overwhelming desire to close this tab and bang on the doors of your nearest gym…

Here is a backstage look into the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show as the angels lip sync “Beauty And A Beat,” the newest hit single by VS Fashion Show performer Justin Bieber…admittedly not a Hewitt Times exclusive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkOGY112PnM