If you saw American teens walking around with pacifiers stuck in their mouths all day, you would probably think that you were either in a bizarre dream or that a new rave epidemic hit the country. Pacifiers are attachment objects that only babies and toddlers need. Once you are in your teen years, you are too mature to ever need something like a security blanket, right? Think again.
There is a new socially acceptable security blanket that the adolescents of this country (and probably in most of the developed countries) have been sporting 24/7. Their emotional and physical attachment to this object is only rivaled by a territorial dog over a bone. The object of which I am speaking is the cell phone.
Now think about it. Scenario 1: You have been waiting for your perpetually late friend for 10 minutes in the designated meeting place. You neither have your ipod (out of charge) or a book (too big to fit in your bag), so you take out your phone to play a game. “Okay, that’s just entertainment” you tell me. Hold that thought as we discuss Scenario 2. You are at your out-side-of-school friend’s birthday dinner. She has invited only people from her school, of which you only have one acquaintance that you met a year ago and are facebook friends with, but you don’t think they remember you so you don’t re-introduce yourself. You arrived late, so after you gave your friend the customary birthday hug and Urban Outfitters giftcard, you take a seat at the end of the table with the obscure lighting. As conversation buzzes all around you, you can’t seem to strike up a conversation past an introduction, so you take out your phone and text a couple friends, and maybe even play a little game. You continue this until the food arrives and you stuff your face as an excuse to not speak (because you can’t speak with a mouth full of food). I think I can safely say that we have all been witnesses of and participated in these two scenarios.
By whipping out your cell phone, you are, consciously or not, trying to tell those around you, “yes, I may look awkward now, but I have friends. I swear I do! Look, I’m communicating with them right now!” The phone pacifies your insecurities about the judgment of strangers and secures you against all things unknown and uncomfortable: aka a security blanket.
Now before you hang your head in shame, I will offer you a chance at redeeming your “independent teen” image. Whenever you find yourself in an awkward situation, avoid the temptation to take out your phone just as you would avoid sucking your thumb. Embrace the situation and try to work to make it less awkward. When you are standing on the corner, waiting for your friend, try to just stand there without giving acknowledgment to the strangers. Why should you care what they think anyways? And when you are in that terrible dinner situation, start a conversation with the person sitting across from you. Don’t you realize you are only furthering your isolation when you seal yourself off with your phone? Not only is it rude to your friend (whose birthday it is) and the people around you, but you are missing out on developing people skills, an endangered concept in the 21st century.